5 Things I Wish I knew Before Becoming a Mom


February 16, 2023


fresh 48 and newborn


follow @nicolebertrandphotography

My blog is where I can show you more than just a single Instagram-worthy snapshot, but tell the entire story of a session from start to finish. Enjoy!



Fresh 48

more categories

Hi I'm Nicole


If you’re a new mom, you most likely have tons of expectations about how motherhood will go. Ask any seasoned mom and they’ll admit that there are things they wish they knew before becoming a mom. While I can’t provide you with an exhausted list (but if you DO want one, check out this Tik-Tok trending list!), below are the top 5 things I wish I knew before becoming a mom. 

BUT, before we dive in, please know that the following things are experiences that not every mother may experience. They are common, but every mother’s journey is unique to her. I share these in efforts to help you feel comfortable in your ability to be a mom and to help you not feel alone in things you may experience. 

#1 – It’s okay to be nervous about becoming a mom.

Having a child doesn’t automatically mean that you’ll be 100% comfortable and ready to be a mom. In fact, most moms feel quite the opposite. There are thoughts, feelings, and emotions that cause you to question whether or not you’re cut out for the “job.” To say every woman is ready to be a mom when motherhood comes couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s okay to be nervous and it’s even more okay to question your abilities to be a good mom.

#2 – Holding a baby “too much” will not make them spoiled.

We’ve all heard it before. “You better put that baby down or he/she will become spoiled!” I’m not sure where that originally came from but what I do know is there’s no such thing as holding a baby too much. Studies actually show that holding a baby actually contributes to them feeling more loved and cared for. This goes on to have positive emotional and psychological effects on both the baby and mom.

#3 – Breastfeeding is not always the best option for feeding a baby.

Although there are perks to breastfeeding, it’s not always the best option for some moms and babies. There can be many contributing factors such as mom not producing enough milk to the baby having a hard time latching onto mom’s breast. In other cases, some moms have to return to work in which pumping and keeping a supply on hand becomes too stressful. There are several other options in the event breastfeeding turns out to not be the best option for feeding your baby.

#4 – Do not feel guilty for wanting to take time for self care.

Taking care of a baby can be time consuming, especially depending on the amount of help that you have. It’s easy to be so invested in the new baby that you forget to take care of yourself. Even then, feelings of guilt will try to creep in and convince you that you’re being selfish for wanting to spend a little time by yourself. It is very wise to set aside self-care time so you don’t become too stressed or overwhelmed.

#5 – You don’t have to try to do everything perfectly.

This goes for every aspect of motherhood. You don’t need the perfect schedule, the perfect toys, the perfect brand of clothes, diapers, or other accessories. There’s no perfect way to hold and comfort the baby or the perfect way feed them. You and your baby are a team and, just like a team, you’ll begin to work together and know what works or doesn’t. 

Final Thoughts

Motherhood certainly comes with its fair share of lessons to learn and these are just a few things I wish I knew before becoming a mom. As I mentioned before, each mom and baby are unique so what you may experience with one child, you may not experience with another. Embrace the uniqueness of each journey and learn all you can along the way. 

What are some things you wish you knew before becoming a mom? Share them in the comments below to help other moms!

  1. Ally Bauer says:

    Your work is beautiful as always! ❤️

charlotte mom guide

FREE Charlotte Mom Guide

Join my circle of Charlotte moms and get my FREE Mommy Resource Guide for tips on top CLT maternity and child clothing boutiques, doulas, lactation consultants and more !