After welcoming a new baby, it’s normal for your relationship with your spouse to take a back seat. But it’s important to try and devote time and effort to keep your marriage strong. Most people don’t give this much thought until the baby is here, emotions are high, and needs begin going unmet in other areas. In this post, I’m going to share four tips to help make the transition into being new parents simple and keep your marriage thriving.
The Truth About Becoming New Parents
The truth of the matter is that becoming a new parent is exciting, terrifying, a blessing, and stressful all at the same time. There are also many more emotions and experiences that you’ll understand as time goes by. Be it as it may, your whole world will begin to shift and sometimes things will happen out of your control, while there are other things you can be prepared for.
Below are a few tips to help you keep your marriage strong no matter where on that scale you and your spouse find yourself.
Welcoming a New Baby: How to Keep Your Marriage Strong
Try not to criticize your spouse.
No matter how prepared you think you are, once your bundle of joy comes earthside, you may find yourself doing things you promised you’d never do. The brightside, though, is that the learning curve that comes with parenthood is very forgiving to the point of finding your own way of doing things that works for you and your family.
When emotions and tensions get high, instead of criticizing how your spouse is doing something, try to understand why they are doing something a particular way. I promised myself and my spouse that we wouldn’t co-sleep, yet child after child they ended up in the bed with us for almost their entire first year.
Of course, this could cause tension in the area of intimacy because there always seemed to be a little person in our bed space, but there are workarounds that didn’t involve criticizing.
Be intentional about scheduling alone time with your spouse.
Piggybacking on the idea of co-sleeping, it’s important to continue dating your spouse. Be intentional about planning some alone time. This can look like early morning coffee on the front porch for 15-20 minutes or ordering takeout and having a date night in.
As your baby gets older and you get more comfortable about leaving him/her with a babysitter, I highly recommend taking dates outside of the home. Do things that make you and your spouse happy whether it’s seeing a live band, watching a movie, or going out for a nice dinner.
Don’t hesitate to ask for help.
One thing you can be certain about is the fact that all parents have gone through the similar beginning phases that you are (or soon will be) experiencing right now. Every new parenting book covers the same lessons, so there’s no need to think you have to go at this alone.
If you haven’t done so already, secure a few helping hands to assist around the home, with the baby, or for marriage help. Older couples who have raised children and may even be in the joys of grandparenthood are some of the best role models to help navigate during these times.
Keep your marriage a priority.
It’s really easy to let things take the backseat, especially when it comes to adding members to your family. Seasoned couples and parents will always agree that keeping your marriage first is one of the best things you can do for keeping your relationship strong. Oftentimes, having children takes the top priority spot, but it shouldn’t.
Yes, there are times when caring for your children is a bit more important, but certainly not 100% of the time. Ultimately, you are raising your children to one day become adults and start families of their own. This means that you’ll one day have an empty nest so having an amazing marriage long after those parenting years is important.
Final Thoughts
Welcoming a new baby doesn’t mean your marriage needs to take a back seat. Instead, learn sooner than later how to keep your marriage strong. Keep in mind that you’ll also be modeling this for your child/children. They’ll learn how to foster a strong marriage, especially once they begin having children of their own too!
Great tips for this life transitioning time. Asking for help is a must, it helps you refocus on your marriage.
This is some great information that every new parent should read. It is definitely tough after you have a baby. I appreciate everything you shared.
So I heard that welcoming. anew baby weakens the relationships but it can actually make the marriage stronger. Thanks for the tips.
Such a helpful post for us who have a desire to make our own marriage stronger and be more connected to each other.
This is something we struggle with as parents. We have two teens and are not home much. Some days we don’t see one another until 10pm. It is good to make the effort to plan some time together.
Great information and tips for new parents, becoming a new parent on it’s own is hard enough without fighting with your spouse or feeling resentment about various issues. Thanks for writing this up!
It’s really difficult to resist spoiling a baby. Many people end up doing what they said they wouldn’t do.
This is a really great and very informative post specially for new parents. This will help them a lot
“BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT SCHEDULING ALONE TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE”. This is it for me as well as asking for help whenever you need it. The baby will also appreciate their parents in their best shape.
I totally agree with you about being intentional about having alone time with our partners. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a parent but it’s important that we don’t forget that we are also a wife/ husband too.
I agree that it should be intentional for both parents to set aside alone time together – though it can be very challenging, especially on the first 6 months because you have to consider the safety of the child. So you can’t really go too far — at least, in my experience. We usually just had coffee together and would watch a movie online when the baby was asleep. Thank God, all our kids slept all night and didn’t wake up much.